Is Obama Smooch Impaired?

Passes on supermodel, hesitant with co-ed

Sarkozy coerces Obama into accepting kiss from girl

Kissing confusion and protocol faux pas were in abundance during Obama’s latest embarrassment French sojourn.

The first clumsy moment, (yes, yes, this administration has consisted almost entirely of clumsy moments, but let’s focus on this one); the first clumsy moment came when Obama and… his wife… ah… I’ll think of it… Michelle—who appeared, yet again, to have dressed in the Salvation Army donation bin—were greeted in Strasbourg by French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his main squeeze, Italian Supermodel Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.

Outside the Rohan Palace, (not the Rohan Palace from The Lord of the Rings), Carla gave Mrs. Obama that european, double-mandible kissy-kissy, while the hubbies made-do with manly-men-type pats on the back.

Or they were both choking.

Swapping sides, (no obvious political pun intended), Sarkozy kissed both of Michelle’s upper cheeks, while Carla leaned toward Obama's jowl.

Obama balked.

Carla, her offer of a kiss spurned—likely for the first time in her life—pulled away and offered her hand.

While Sarkozy and Michelle were locked in embrace, Obama and Carla pumped paws.

“A handshake instead of a kiss?” Carla wondered to herself. “Could it be… my breath?”

Already having embarrassed himself and offended the First Lady of France, Obama was again reluctant as he and Sarkozy—ever the posing politicians—took to the streets and worked a crowd.

Cecilia Dervogne, a student whose name—unlike Strasbourg or Sarkozy—actually sounds French, called out to Obama.

"I said in slightly hesitating English… 'A kiss for me?' " Dervogne recalled. "He showed me his bodyguards,” (which is when you know you’ve got a guy’s attention), “who were surveying everything. I think there was a security gap we were supposed to keep to," she said, ending her sentence with a preposition.

After a somewhat longer clumsy moment than the first one of the day, Sarkozy peered at Obama and said, "What, you're not going to give her a kiss?"

"He offered his cheek timidly, and I gave him a kiss," Dervogne said, ending her sentence with a noun.

As Mlle. Dervogne noted, Obama does seem timid around girls: Perhaps he thinks they have cooties.